Aught 14

Greetings y'all :

    Here we go friends time for a fresh start and new beginnings. But I posit we have the opportunity to have fresh starts and new beginnings every second of every day. We are constantly making choices that affect the next moment in time for us . One might call this Karma . Karma is the theory of causation. What we do comes back to us , cause and effect. Karma is to us what we are to others and ourselves .

Junior Mint and I had grand relaxing New Years Eve. We read and listened to music during the day. Watched a little football and did some cooking. He had another date night with the neighbor/sitter. She's been a blessing to us. Last evening she took him to Coldstone Creamery for some monstrous sized and delicious ice cream. I'm glad he's expanding his support system .

     The night was spent reading and chatting with friends . I was able to visit my special friend and still ring in the New Year with my pride and joy , my progeny.  He is almost ten but still insists on hugging me and kissing at the stroke of midnight with a hearty I love you daddy and happy New Years ! Who knows how long this will last but I'll take it ! I love that lad. 

   Today ? Well today he's already cooked me bacon and eggs and started supper in the crock pot . He's finishing up Tom Sawyer  and wants to move on to Huckleberry Finn & Sherlock Holmes  stories . In my opinion these are classics everyone ought to read. He's read Old Man and the Sea and Moby Dick I think he need some children's classic too though . Any suggestions ? 

   Ok folks I won't hold ya up any longer . Thanks for stopping by and checking on us . Hope y'all have a happy and healthy new year . Remember we may not always get what we want but God gives us what we need. 

Exploring other options

Greetings y'all ,

Recently I've been accused of being garrulous and  prolix . I've reflected and admit I am sententious . The question now is what shall I do about it? Is it truly a dilemma I need to address? Shall I arrogantly continue on my fustian and turgid dialog ? A conundrum  wrapped in an enigma . But alas I shall write from my metaphysical and complex heart . 

     Ace and I have been reading a great deal lately . We read to ourselves , to each other and he has been enjoying e-books with the read aloud feature. I'm very impressed with his reading selections . They've been rich and varied.  I am very impressed with my  young scholar ! He's shown increased flexibility and frustration tolerance . In part because of his reading choices and largely due to his processing and belief he is capable and that God and his tribe have his six. 

     I've been re-reading The Explosive Child by Dr Ross W.Greene . It is one of the books that has helped me alter and adapt my parenting style to understand and help my sometimes maladaptive progeny. We can't cure behaviors in others, we can't change others . We can help problem solve so positive behaviors increase and expectations can be met. This can be accomplished by adjusting our reactions and actions . " Children do well if they can " We are fortunate to have a good team that uses this methodology and plan to guide my young man down the pathway to success .

I could go on for pages on this topic but will wrap it up now . Thanks for reading again today folks. 

Snow Day !!!

Greetings y'all !

Thanks to the wondrous and wonderful white wintry precipitation schools are closed and we have our first snow day of  aught fourteen. Traditionally that means hours of outdoor activities for the Robinson Boys  however it's minus teens with the windchill and a tad bitter for me 

I think we will survive the day with indoor jocularity. 

So far this morning has entailed my young man spending quality time with the neighbor and her feline fellas. They had a nice breakfast whilst I shoveled myself and some neighbors . Rumor has it the burning sensation in my frozen digits will subside by late spring . 

Yesterday was one of them good type days. Ace had a few expected struggles transitioning back to school but was successful . He was extremely positive and thoughtful last night and this morning. With the lone exception being a frustration fueled maladaptive transition from the neighbors house back to boring old dad. But I worked the magic from Explosive Child  ( by Ross Greene) and Parenting Without Power Struggles ( by Susan Stiffleman)and viola it subsided quickly . It was ugly at first but frustration is a difficult emotion to get hold of for adults much less a child with lagging skills . Yes he cursed but that is from lagging language processing skills and we are addressing it . We don't give those words power when he uses them. 

We get to the place where reason rules over emotion and discuss the problem driving the behaviors, solve that and work up replacement words . 

Yesterday the sitter gave him an assignment about being a positive and humble winner or loser. It involved writing which he , surprisingly , embraced . He tried typing it on his tablet but did the classic mistake of not saving it correctly. D'OH !!! Give the lad an "A" for effort though . He truly wants to do well. I love my Sol  Invictus !!!

Ok guess it's time to bake some bread on a cold winters day. 

Thank for stopping by and reading today.. 

Illusions .....

Greetings y'all , 

"Illusions are the truths we live by until we know better" Nancy Gibbs. I found this quite in " The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene PhD. . Today I read about emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility skills . Interesting that the author states crying and exploding can be both the same emotional response from children with lagging skills. One elicits comfort, concern and nurturing and the child grows . The other elicits punitive and angry responses and exasperates the child as the situation setting the child up for continued frustration. I am by no means condoning negative behavior nor condoning not having appropriate consequences when appropriate . I am suggesting that solving the problem of the lagging skills and giving the child the tools needed to cope and be successful will decrease future negative reactions in the maladaptive child this helping them be productive and adaptive adults . 

Lets look at this way cognitive skills need to be taught and the tools for success need to be freely given similar to a child that may have lagging academic skills. I wouldn't tell a young child struggling with phonics to just read Shakespeare or they'll have negative consequences  especially if I haven't helps them decide and own phonemic awareness . I would teach the lagging skills and build up to the appropriate level at the child's pace. Or let me use another baseball analogy. It takes refined skill sets to make it the show yet thousands of young and talented athletes struggle to get  through the minors. The vast majority don't get the call up but they work diligently and improving the skills needed to make it . Even for a cup of coffee . How do they improve ? Trough good coaching and dedication. 

We are fortunate that my sons beajvior therapist is using Cognitive Behavior Therapy and that his sitter and his school naturally follows that school of thought . We've finally found the near perfect storm of supports . We've seen incremental growth that is amazing , no where near perfection but I posit who is ? The key is to continue evolving, adapting and learning .  I believe in and trust him and his supports. Team Mowgli Rocks !!!

Ok time for coffee and getting ready fit another day of learning and loving. Hug someone and tell them you love them , especially if they upset , frustrated or sad. 

Thanks for reading again today folks .

The Truther

Greetings y'all , 

My son called me a truther because someone kept promising him something and didn't deliver. He says that person is a liar. He says I delivered for them so I'm a truther. Children tend to cut to the chase and lay it on the line. Naturally the situation isn't that simple , or is it ? Do adults over complicate or do children over simplify ? I would posit it is a bit of both . 

He and I have been focusing on the truth lately . Since returning home from hospital and starting his meds we've noticed increased truth telling at home . I'm very proud of my young man . He and I have paid for lies. Some he told before hospital and some others have told before and after hospital . Our motto is it's easier to live with an ugly truth than a pretty lie. 

So lets talk turkey about the truth . Is the truth always black and white ? In my very humble opinion only the few and rare truisms are always black and white but like most of life the vast majority of things lay in that grey area . My guess is the grey area is 95% of life . Yet folks hold dogmatically to their version of truth . Leading to cognitive distortion and barriers. We won't always agree but if we remember perception is reality we can compromise and progress smoothly. 

I'm rather proud of my progeny . Ok ok so that's  nothing new . I'm proud of him for becoming more thoughtful , pensive, contemplative  and conscientious. Is he perfect ? No , but who is ? Does he have bad moments? Yes but who doesn't ? Does he work hard and learn ? Yeah skippy !!!

I admit I'm slightly bias but I see the glory of my child every day . I see how hard he works and his unlimited and untapped potential . �� I see a lad that has grown emotionally and spiritually . I see a lad that takes responsibly for his actions , perhaps more than many adults . I see a lad who is learning to be a man . 

I've no doubt he will be successful. My role is to keep giving him the tools he needs and keep showing him how to use them, to continue modeling honesty and acceptance . Time will tell but I believe in him and since I'm the truther ...

Thanks for reading again today folks!

The Classroom called life

Greetings y'all ,

That's the face of a lad who enjoys grocery shopping and sports. Why ? Great question , thanks for asking. He says it's because he can learn almost everything from them. Hmm  a home schooler at heart ? Probably just me doing what every other parent does . Teach ratios, cost effectiveness , estimation , budgeting , etc.. in the store. Teaching batting averages , physics , and a host of other math problems in sports. 

Life is filled with learnable moments. We put electronics away when traveling and discuss distance, time , mileage , use maps over GPS. It means plenty of dialog between us as well. In my opinion that's a positive. 

I'll keep it short today . We are counting down days until the Winter Olympics and spring training. Heck notice the Orioles tee shirt and ski cap!  Do yourselves a favor remember life is a learnable moment , use it and learn. 

Thanks for reading again today folks .

personal bon mots

Greetings y'all :

As usual life has it's ups and downs. That's is the very nature of existence . We can't control that,we can only control our actions , reactions and relationship with God. Since perception is reality we choose how we perceive things and this our reality . I'd dare say our perception are formed from the song line which delivered us to this present moment . The past is not our future if we choose to change our present .  These are lessons Ace is learning. Sometime the easy way but oft times the hard way. Either way he is experiencing and learning them .

On a different note, I've been writing a letter to my son on a daily basis. The letters review the previous days events and feelings but always include positive affirmations and support . I write to others well and try pointing out the positives. Admittedly I've been slipping of late . Why ? Well not sure but I've been blue and feeling like life's punching bag. Some one suggested I try writing to myself . Uhm ... Errr... Well .. Ok but ... Here's the conundrum I can find a hundred positives for the other seven billion on this third rock from the sun but when it comes to me I'm stymied . It's not that I think negatively of myself it's just that self praise seems to throw off the universe.  Nothing says potential failure like egocentric thoughts. 

Well I wrote a few letters . If more of a chance to do some self kvetching and journaling. I mentioned to some friends my dilemma , self praise didn't feel write and .... wait for it .......... I was at a loss for words !  My friends suggested that  kind, sympathetic and a nurturer. Wow ! So that's how a few perceive me. I'm flummoxed and humbled . Then I thought and decided to accept those bon mots. I realized it does not make me egotistical and that by my very nature those are qualities I've been cultivating for some time. 

Still it's strange to overtly think positive thoughts about myself . My only excuse is I've declared this to be the year of self care. That's my story and I'm sticking to it ! 

Thanks for reading again today folks. "Have a very fruitful day" jimmy buffet 

Owning our actions

Greetings y'all ,

How y'all are ? We've been doing fairly well over here. Life has thrown us cure balls but we've been able to sit on them and be patient . Oh sure we've had out share of swings and misses but were still in the game . 

As y'all may or may not know Ace had a very difficult late summer early autumn. In general out lives were flipped upside down and we dealt , sometime well and sometimes not so well , with a cornucopia of changes. In October I had to put Ace in hospital to help him with with poor broken brain and wiring . It was    the single most difficult decision I've made. I saw it coming for weeks before it actually happened but when it did we saw and are seeing improvement. 

The truth is my child was quite angry and  aggressive at times. He would rage and  subsequently put holes in his walls and doors before he went into hospital . With the exception of one anxiety riddled rage from a situation  he should've been shielded from . But the fact remains he raged . He knew he had to save his money to get the tools and equipment to repair his damage. He has accepted that. Yesterday we went to Home Depot and he spent his money for the equipment and today will learn the art of home improvement and responsibility . 

He's excited to learn a new set of skills . He's happy owning his actions and making things right. Some may ask why it took so long to have him do this ? Quite honestly he wasn't mentally or fiscally ready until now. Wish us luck as we progress through this phase of our lives and go forward with greater confidence , thoughtfulness and responsibility . I believe in you son! 

Thanks for reading again today. 

Liberation

Greetings y'all :

Well it's been awhile folks and I apologize for lack of updates and anecdotes. Life has been throwing curve balls and obstacles our way . We've re-newed and reinvigorated our relationship with God and find ourselves surrounded by positive ,loving, and caring people and energies. 

.

Love

Greetings y'all , 

     Well yesterday was yet another wondrous and loving day with the boy wonder . We had a snow delay and since we don't watch the telly or play electronics before school Ace created his own indoor Olympics

while I read a biography of Socrates and ironically ate Greek yogurt . Oh sweet irony how I love you . 

I had the time of my life laughing with junior mint as he created games , called the play by play and color commentary, received his medal (which he made) and just enjoyed being a kid. I loved it ! He was playful and quirky and full of creativity yet was mindful of the neighbors and didn't run or jump. He just "skied " Much jocularity !

At school he's still working on not letting others push his buttons but when you spend all day with the same six kids all if whom are expect button pushers it's hard not to respond . It's a surreal setting devoid of reality but with an excellent teacher and IA. It's the system that's broken.  Quite honestly if the system worked then kids wouldn't be repeating their patterns . My child included. He needs the chance the learn to fail and succeed with a broader scope of friends and classmates . Naturally , there will be some negative backlash for me posting this. However my child is being stymied. I suppose I am expressing this because I see similar behavior in my school but the kiss are treated as kids and are not under a microscope and therefore they flourish , grow and learn.  I reiterate he has a top notch teacher and IA who support us. Alas tis only my humble opinion but I know my child better than anyone and can only hope he's given the opportunity to learn with a wider base of students. Isolation leads to isolation and a Plato's cave view of the world, mindset and skills. 

  Last night was a fun filled electronic free night with reading to each other  , extra math, playing ball outside, and snuggling . I'm a pretty lucky fella.

Love , I titled this post love , but why ? Great question , thank you for asking . My son and have found that we can love people and ourselves by seeing the best in all. Does that mean we love each person ? Well it's hard , especially after what we've experienced.lately Yet because of what we've experienced lately we've discovered we can love each person , not always the act but light inside each individual. Whether is potential light or kinetic light shining, we look for the light. Therefore we love . 

To receive love , first one must give love.

Ok folks I was up early today and have read , worked out and now blogged. It's only 6am. I think it's coffee and more reading time . Thanks for reading again today. 

Two Wolves and the Wolves within.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

it takes good neighbors to make a neighborhood

Greetings y'all ,

      Well folks we have another fresh start to another day. We've been surrounding ourselves with positive, loving , caring ,happy , thoughtful , responsible ,respectful and supportive people . Wow what a difference in our gestalt ! We are happier , less stressed and more relaxed.   

     This week , once again, I was able to demonstrate to my progeny when and how to walk away from conflict and negative influences who wish us harm and act with malfeasance. He learned and witnessed the power we hold by not giving those who are angry and lost our attention when they are trying to drag us down. Instead we quietly disengage from those who are disconnected and walk away , physically, psychologically and emotionally. The only exception is we hold them in the light and pray they find genuine peace. There is good in everyone even those with bad behaviors , habits and addictions. We don't approve of certain lifestyles but still feel sorry for people without interacting with them 

     Perhaps the silver lining is the boy wonder was shown the opposite of what we , his tribe , show him at the tender age of nine,a very impressionable age. He saw the sadness of addictions, anger, aggression, hate, of surrounding ones self with negative forces. He knows you are who your friends are , you're judged by the company you keep. If you lie with dogs you get fleas. But if you surround yourself with people who lift you up spiritually , emotionally and psychologically in a positive loving manner and you reciprocate then you walk in the light with your head held high. He knows everyone makes mistakes , but that repeating mistakes is a pattern or habit. We are all human and have things to work on. That is a personal journey though , with the right guidance and supports we build on our strengths am repair our weaknesses. Anyone claiming they are who they are and don't need to change at all is stagnant and will be left behind as they spin in circles. 

     So alas we have pulled into our one particular harbor to repair or vessel and recoup and regroup. We've weathered yet another tsunami and are even closer, which is always a bonus and a surprise considering the bond I have with the amazing boy wonder.  Perhaps because he has seen proof I walk in the light , faced darkness and still remain loving, positive and I protected him. Perhaps because he realized he's got a dozen neighbors who are watching out for us and are positive and supportive. That we don't live in fear and hate but rather in hope and love. . He knows it takes good neighbors pulling together and lifting each other up with love and positive energy to truly make a neighborhood. With out those wonderful neighbors , well take the neighbor out of neighborhood and look at what you're left with - just a hood . 

    This week Ace has been receiving early birthday gifts from his fans in the neighborhood. He been given baseball cards and a collectors model motorcycle from a fabulous neighbor who sees him as a playful an intelligent grandson. He's been given time and pumpkin bread from another neighbor who views him as the light and gift of God that he is. Who helps give him a maternal guidance and extra therapy. He's been given the gift of a closer bond with his mother. They talk more and have such wonderful times together . He know we all love him and he i turn loves us. He has many friends in the neighborhood as well. Boys he can do boy stuff with, jostle , bump , be rough ad tumble and build those boy bonds. He's got girls who, like yesterday surround him when he gets home and just wanna play, talk , laugh and spend time with him. He's got younger children who look up to him and he plays gently and lovingly with them. He has adults who admire him , enjoy his humor , and like playing catch with him, etc... This is reality , he is fine at home and in the community with his interactions. Oh sure he's still only nine and has his moments but what human doesn't and at least he's learning and is coachable. 

     Which brings us to the early birthday gift from his mother and I. Ace has been craving organized sports however we knew in the past he wasn't coachable or quite ready. Ace signed up for little league baseball again. It's been a few years and his last experience was horrendous . He was bullied by the coaches sons , who were his team mates, and forced to stop being a switch hitter. He's got the emotional and psychological skills to be a great team mate now. He's accepted that he may be first string bench warmer and he has to earn a spot . He knows flexibility and listening will improve him as a player, person and team mate . 

     He's excited to garner more friends as well. It's been difficult since he's trapped in a class with the six or so students. He learns from his peers and tries hard to rise to the top. Guess I see my next windmill I must Quixotically tilt against. That is another chapter for another day though my dear followers.

     Folks I wanna thank each and everyone one of you for reading , following and supporting us. I hope you're enjoying our journey as much a we are. Now time for coffee , cleaning and spring training . 

My slugger and love cub

Greetings y'all ,

     Well yesterday started off promising and ended wonderfully but we had a hiccup in between . Hey I promised honesty and transparency so here goes. We started off well but my PTSD and his anxiety, which has been on the surface because of unsavory people doing unsavory things to us , flared up simultaneously. I slipped and was not therapeutic and the nurturer I usually am. Sadly I became the parent negative influences said I needed to be and I saw my son regress. I was able to catch myself and move us forward . He and I processed and talked and ended up laughing . 

     However I was devastated that I slipped and became sullen and blue. I tend to be rather hard on myself. It took a  couple of good friends and our neighbor , who we think is really an angel sent to help us, to remind me of my good qualities and my humanity and realign my thinking. My son saw me slip , fall., fail , regroup , rise up , reach out  and keep moving forward. He saw me fail and learn. 

     Ace suggested as did our angel and friend , we head out and just play. We dropped the top and listened to Imagine Dragons I'm on top of the world!  Wow talk an upbeat mood setter and our our new theme song. I'm sure people thought we are a tad odd for singing loudly with top down , but I'm equally sure we didn't care because at that moment it was just the two of us , the rockin' Robinson boys ! 

     We ended up heading to Toys-R-Us , a store I know many love but I loathe, so he could spend his Christmas gift card on baseball stuff. After all he is excited to play little league and in spite of the snow covered fields the air temp was 60 F . Well Ace got a batting tee , wants to practice switch hitting , and his first wooden bat. Seriously a nine year old who wants to use wooden bats ! 

Naturally he slept with it while dreaming of hitting the game winning homer . He's adorable ! I love his naïveté and innocence after all he's experienced . I love him so much. He keeps me centered. 

     We used the tee but not the wooden bat. We found a field with minimal snow and commenced our spring training . In essence we played on a field that was swampy, snowy and icy and had a blast ! He got a baseball training book and DVD at the library Friday night and studied them before we went out yesterday and applied what he learned . That right there is a coachable kid. 

     We followed that with a trip to the grocers . He has decided he needs to eat like big leaguer , lean protein and leafy greens. He's ready to get into bigleague shape   and has a weight goal and running goal. Hmm guess that means I'll have to start eating right and getting in shape too- score !

   We wrapped up the evening snuggling and watching " MythBusters" . Like I said we started strong , slipped but ended strong . Life has it's vacillations, I think the key is to remember that, not get too caught up in them and keep moving forward. 

    Thanks for reading again today folks .now carpe diem! 

Peace comes from within

Greetings y'all ,

     Yesterday was another good day to be a Robinson Boy ! We had a lazy morning of snuggling , laughing ,and watching MythBusters . We did our mindful meditations at home but neglected to attend our meeting. We still found peace in the presence of God but miss the corporate mindfulness of meeting. 

    The afternoon found us back out on the peat bogs , err swamps, err ball field playing more baseball. Our feet were cold and wet and our clothes were muddy but our souls and hearts were happy.  We felt like we are back to a loving, happy  and peaceful place emotionally , spiritually and psychologically. Ace has developed a pretty good swing and I admire his dedication. He's just a good boy , he's starting to grow up and shows greater responsibility. 

     To wit our next stop was the library for computer time for young master Robinson. This has been a dodgy proposition in the past but rather than threaten with negative consequences for not getting off the computer nicely we discussed how he would transition smoothly and be successful. No consequences either positive or negative were dangled just that I had confidence he would meet our expectations. Well the poor lad lost half time to a computer that kept freezing up. He repeatedly went to  the  staff for assistance and they adroitly and politely helped him. It seems the website  was the culprit. With a few minutes left for his computer time Ace stated " looks like this isn't going to work today, lets leave early" I was happily dumbfounded. No fuss , no muss. 

     He suggested we take a drive and I agreed. We drove and discussed what happened and how well he handled the situation. My chest was bursting with pride. Junior Mint has worked exceedingly hard . It's safe to say the  CBT ( cognitive behavior therapy )  and CPS ( collaborative problem solving) are working for him. Wow and atta boy!!

     What really makes me proud is that we've had nefarious ne'er do wells spewing invectives and verisimilitudes while attempting to intimidate us  earlier and yet we forged ahead and took care of our business. Everyone has a right to their opinion and life . Everyone has a right to live in peace , even the Robinson Boys. Once again we discovered how many neighbors watch out and listen out for us.   We have an expectation to live peaceably in our complex and community. 

     The night wrapped up with removing layers of mud , having a wonderful dinner together and snuggling up more to watch a DVD about the brain and neuroscience. Hey he picked it out and it's a topic that fascinates me. He gained greater insight into how and why he thinks the way he does and how and why others think and behave as well. Well played young man, well played. 

     Looks like it's coffee time folks . Thanks again for stopping by and reading. I started this journal as a means to document our lives expose the bumps and joys of life and single parenting of a quirky and exuberant child , and for a personal reference as I compile material to re-write my book. I write for cathartic and personal reasons. I never expected to reach 100 views and here we sit at 10,000 page views. While that isn't much for some folks it's shocking  and humbling to me . Thank you all for your continued reading, comments, support and sharing. 

Have a fruitful day !

Marching forward or "Hope springs eternal"

Greetings y'all ,

     Fare thee well February , I find I doth not detest ye for thy hath proffered both problems and positive potentiality . 

     February gave is freedom, hope, a greater sense of who is on our side with genuine love and honesty and who is creating sciamachies and offering verisimilitudes . In one way we became safer and less stressed in another we became more cognizant of the irrationality of ignorant ( yes those lacking knowledge ) individuals retarding their personal growth whilst attempting to anchor us and more aware of how dangerous unstable individuals can be thereby living in greater fear for personal safety, by that I mean we have been verbally assaulted and threatened repeatedly by people who aren't involved in our lives or situation. Poor Ace has been living with an amygdala that is constantly firing. Ace bore witness to individuals walking in the light and those hiding from the light, to those who love and support themselves and others with positive energy and those who create drama to hide behind and avoid looking within and facing and conquering internal demons. He was given two distinct and clear cut paths and futures. He has seen the results of feeding both wolves and has greater clarity to the causation of choices. 

   So in spite of the fabricated sciamachies others presented we rose above and are marching forward into that great unknown of the future . We do so with the knowledge of having several good and watchful neighbors. Neighbors will to defend and protect us in a responsible and respectful and safe manner with out anger or aggression but with grace and dignity. 

     In two short days the love of my life turns ten years old. I blinked and he got to the age of having numbers in the tens place. Ennui ? No not per se more a sense of pride of how much he's grown and how he is still my snuggle buddy . I have said it before and will reiterate we are beyond broke , but we are not broken. I have the pure and unconditional  love of a child who knows for 3,650 days I've been his defender, protector , guide and cheerleader. I am graced with a child that brings untold and plentiful blessings to my heart and home. We are Herbie the Dentist and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer ; we are misunderstood , and are unique while being " independent together" . If we could only get the rest of the universe to buy into the fact I know  my child inside and out, better than anyone else does.    We are the Robinson Boys !

     March is the month of our birthday and our rebirthday, that is the anniversary of my divorce. I must say Ace is fortunate to have a loving and caring mother active in his life, one he can call or text anytime and who enjoys his company and quirkiness. He has finally understood that his family loves him and divorce and nothing to do with him. He is wise beyond his years.  March offers us Spring  and the hope of fresh seasons and new beginnings.    

    Thanks for reading again today folks . Hope you have a magnificent March ! 

      

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket

Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people's buckets -- by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions -- we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others' buckets -- by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions -- we diminish ourselves.

Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.

But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That's why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us.

So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice -- one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness.

by ; Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

I'll take what's behind door number two

Greetings y'all ,

      Sorry for the hiatus ,life has been crazy , absolutely crazy. We've been worried about just surviving and avoiding threats ,attacks, and folks trying to terrorize and intimidate. Unreal what some people will do without consideration to the affects it has on a child. What this has done though is bring my son and I even closer together and help us discover the myriad of friends we have in this neighborhood and community . Granted we are looking to move soon though so my son can live in peace. In the meantime he's watched and learned how his pa handles bullies. With silent indifference, with sympathetic prayers, with caution , keeping a distance and surrounding ourselves with good , decent,  kind , loving and positive people.

    We've all heard the expression; as one door closes another door opens. I wonder how many of actually dissect and digest that .i know I never really contemplated the simplistic complexity of it. So here is my philosophical if not sophist opinion and viewpoint . We can choose to stand at the closed door ponder the what ifs and if onlys , remembering and misremembering the past , dwelling in the quagmire of would've , could've , and should've . But I ask , is that healthy ? What does it really solve ? Our other option is to notice our other choices and choose to walk through the nearly opened door into the future and new if not fresh wonderment. 

     You may have discerned I chose to use the word choose . This was not random . In life we have choices to make second by second. Choice to speak or remain silent . The choice of how to act, react, interact , etc...The choice of who we associate or socialize with. The choice to walk in the light or live in the shadows . The choice to live peaceably or to create drama . 

     We choose to walk in the light and to live peaceably . We choose to live, love and laugh. We choose to be grateful , thank God for our blessings, We choose to pray for those who are suffering to the point of hating themselves and thus everyone else.  We also choose to be safe. Sadly this has been difficult at times during the last few weeks. 

      Yet somehow, with the help of friends and a strong faith we've reinforced our resiliency. In think it helped that we studied about and watched film of the Freedom Riders and Martin Luther Ling this week . We've studied about Gandhi and Jesus already of course but my progeny saw what it's like to be tormented and have enough trust in God to not fight back.  So he can now pull from the archival footage ( ie his schema) of Gandhi ( great movie with Ben Kingsley) MLK ( we watched actually footage of his marches and speeches ) Freedom Riders ( again actual footage) 

Jackie Robinson and of course Jesus and the Bible. 

     Ok so we got sick this week but hey there's a few bugs being bantered around and  many folks are unwell. However our positive spirit has remained intact. Some have asked how that can be? My response goes back to my core- the love of God to guide us and watch over us , the comfort and love of good and decent neighbors ( several of whom delivered food and/or medicine and offered rides as needed)  and friends and the amazing unconditional love of my wonderful son. I am lucky to have him in my life and heart. 

     Speaking of the boy wonder, he was amazing at his little league evaluations last week , was a trooper this week as we walked to and from school waiting for the tires to be replaced ( they were slashed last weekend) and today he rocked my world , again. He had blood drawn ( big fear for him) we played ball for a long time ( I ran some drills for him and he loved it, very coachable and he got use his wood bat for the first time ) we stopped by the library and he noticed a bottle rocketry course/lab was being held there . Naturally he joined the class and showed what he already knows about physics and what that he's an eager learner. He had to design and build it then test his rocket . He remembered that Goddard took decades to get his off the ground and that engineering is trying and trying again. I'm so proud of him. 

Life's Lessons

Greetings y'all ;

1. Lift with your legs

2. Children want and need that which is free and ought to be freely given; time, love, compassion, respect , viability, and guidance. 

3. Maintain your dignity and you can overcome 

4. Follow your moral compass , you have more people on your side than you realize as well as God 

5. Act with non-malfeasance - it's the right thing to do and it just feels better. 

6. Conduct yourself with humility 

7. Wish and actively bring/ project peace to friends and enemies a like .

8 " it is impossible to love your enemies because once you love them they are no longer your enemies . " H.H. Dalai Lama .

9. Work hard being the the parent your child thinks you are , the dividends are priceless. 

10.  Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV)

     Ok so I got off on a spiritual or religious bent.  I shan't apologize . We've navigated stormy seas of late and know it's our faith that has held us in the light and gotten us through. We have a few more squalls on the horizon but shall neither wither nor waver . iWe have faced  the tempest and are all the stronger for it. My insightful man cub recently compared our  journey to that of Odysseus, we had a siren attempt to crash us upon the rocks but we held fast and survived .

     Thanks for stoping by and taking time to peruse and ponder my thoughts.