Greetings y'all ,
"Illusions are the truths we live by until we know better"
Nancy Gibbs. I found this quite in " The Explosive Child" by Ross W.
Greene PhD. . Today I read about emotional regulation and cognitive
flexibility skills . Interesting that the author states crying and
exploding can be both the same emotional response from children with
lagging skills. One elicits comfort, concern and nurturing and the child
grows . The other elicits punitive and angry responses and exasperates
the child as the situation setting the child up for continued
frustration. I am by no means condoning negative behavior nor condoning
not having appropriate consequences when appropriate . I am suggesting
that solving the problem of the lagging skills and giving the child the
tools needed to cope and be successful will decrease future negative
reactions in the maladaptive child this helping them be productive and
adaptive adults .
Lets look at this way cognitive
skills need to be taught and the tools for success need to be freely
given similar to a child that may have lagging academic skills. I
wouldn't tell a young child struggling with phonics to just read
Shakespeare or they'll have negative consequences especially if I
haven't helps them decide and own phonemic awareness . I would teach the
lagging skills and build up to the appropriate level at the child's
pace. Or let me use another baseball analogy. It takes refined skill
sets to make it the show yet thousands of young and talented athletes
struggle to get through the minors. The vast majority don't get the
call up but they work diligently and improving the skills needed to make
it . Even for a cup of coffee . How do they improve ? Trough good
coaching and dedication.
We are fortunate that my
sons beajvior therapist is using Cognitive Behavior Therapy and that his
sitter and his school naturally follows that school of thought . We've
finally found the near perfect storm of supports . We've seen
incremental growth that is amazing , no where near perfection but I
posit who is ? The key is to continue evolving, adapting and learning .
I believe in and trust him and his supports. Team Mowgli Rocks !!!
Ok
time for coffee and getting ready fit another day of learning and
loving. Hug someone and tell them you love them , especially if they
upset , frustrated or sad.
Thanks for reading again today folks .