Each
of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled,
depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we
feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful.
Each
of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill
other people's buckets -- by saying or doing things to increase their
positive emotions -- we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that
dipper to dip from others' buckets -- by saying or doing things that
decrease their positive emotions -- we diminish ourselves.
Like
the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook
and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more
optimistic.
But
an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines
our will. That's why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts
us.
So
we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another's
buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice -- one that
profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and
happiness.
by ; Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.